


your heart is too strong anyway

by wortfee



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining, Romance, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 15:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5133026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wortfee/pseuds/wortfee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marco is his sun. The only thing is that Nuri is supposed to have another love, another life, and he doesn't know what hurts more - burning because of Marco's heat or freezing because of the cold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	your heart is too strong anyway

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic in English. I am really nervous, but I also feel kinda proud. It was just really a bad day, that's why this isn't very happy. I am really sorry for any mistakes and I hope you'll enjoy this story. I'd love to have some feedback, but don't feel like you have to write a comment, just do whatever you want. I was also inspired by this prompt I found on tumblr: 
> 
> Imagine your OTP breaking up on really bad terms, then getting stuck in an elevator together a week later. (@otpprompts)

He didn't call it a "break up" because there was nothing to break up. They fucked a few times, and yeah, they had a good time, but still Nuri made it clear from the beginning that he didn't want anything else. He had a wife, a son, a family that loved him with every breath they took. Nuri didn't need anything else and especially not this thing, whatever it was. He didn't need Marco or his body or his presence to be happy with his life. 

That's what Nuri told himself over and over these days. And apparently it didn't matter how often he said it to himself because it felt wrong every time. He couldn't sleep, his thoughts never left him. Tugba's body pressed next to him felt so different, so false. It made him feel sick because every time Tugba even just looked at him, he felt guilty. The guilt ripped through his body and left a crippling pain that got worse each time he saw Marco or Tugba or his son. It was a constant pain that never decreased not even when he was in training because then he had to face Marco. Marco's pain hurt him more than the guilt ever could, but he still didn't look away from him. He deserved to feel Marco's suffering, after all he suffered because of him. There was also another reason, one that was far more selfish; Marco's anger and his pain showed Nuri, that whatever he said - Marco still felt something for him. 

The whole thing started after Marco got injured before the World Cup. He wanted to send Marco a message and cheer him up somehow, but he didn't know whether his efforts would be appreciated, so he just let it be. In hindsight it was the right decision. Now he knew that Marco wouldn't have answered and just ignored it like he did with all the other messages. Instead, Nuri visited him after Germany had won. Nuri saw Mario holding up Marco's jersey and snorted. It was still strange to see the relationship Mario and Marco now had, something in between really good friends and almost strangers, but he never opened his mouth about it. He'd be a hypocrite - he left the club too and he just got really lucky that he came home again. So, Nuri grabbed his jacket, kissed his wife and his son goodbye, and then drove the way to Marco's flat. 

He was aware that he played with fire, with the sun actually because it was incredibly risky just to drive to Marco and ask if he needed anything. Marco didn't like it that he needed help most of the time (the only expectation was football), it made him uncomfortable and therefore very hard to deal with. He usually let him alone, let other's deal with Marco's problematic moods. It wasn't his best trait, Nuri had to admit that, but now there was nobody there to help Marco, nobody that could get through him. Nuri knew that he could, though, it wasn't even a question of how close they were, the only thing that was important in this was that Nuri understood him. If somebody knew something about injuries, it was him. The feeling of helplessness, the anger at everything but mostly at his own damn body because it didn't work properly because it broke in the most important stage of his life like an old vehicle that just didn't start anymore. 

Nuri rang the bell for good five minutes, before Marco actually opened the door. He looked terrible, eyes red and shiny, his face a pale grey and his usually perfect hair messy and greasy. »Nuri?« His voice sounded terrible too. Nuri wanted to go again, just turn around and run out of the door because of course he knew that Marco would be devastated but to actually see him, was too much. He wasn't good at this, there was a reason why he never comforted Marco. So he did the first thing that came to his mind. 

He kissed him. At that moment, he felt the burning need in his stomach and Marco did probably too because he kissed him back and dragged him into his flat. Marco was the sun and he was too close, he was burning and falling and falling, but the kiss didn't stop and Marco was frantic now, trying to touch him everywhere at once, rubbing his hard dick against his leg. 

After it, after hours and hours of falling and not crushing, Marco taking and taking and Nuri giving everything he had, after everything burned in the Marco's flames, Nuri lay beside a sleeping Marco and felt strangely free. Marco lay half on top of him and their heartbeat was in sync like they always slept together in a bed and not just had rough sex for the first time. 

Then, it was just sex for a while. Neither of them really talked about feelings, but their touches were enough, most of the time. But the season was horrible and sometimes Marco's heat wasn't enough and Tugba's comforting words felt too cold, so Nuri was lonely most of the time and too afraid to talk to somebody. Until his injury didn't get any better and he didn't go to Marco as often as he used too. He hoped that Marco would ignore it and live his own life, just like before, but this time Marco came over to him and Nuri dragged him into his house, thankfully Tugba and Ömar weren't at home, and Marco seemed to know how to comfort him because he held him and made him tea that tasted terrible, but it made them both laugh, the carpet full of spat out tea. Nuri felt his whole body burning when Marco hugged him and let him cry, whispering everything is going to be alright, I'll be here, I won't leave, It'll get better soon over and over again, words that normally were sweet nothings, but meant suddenly everything. It was their beginning and their ending all at once.

Their final ending was a lot worse. Nuri didn't know anymore who started fighting. Everything was a blur that was too light to remember anything. He remembered the words he shouted at Marco and the words Marco shouted at him (»I told you, that this is just sex!« »Yeah? Maybe this was just sex the first few times, but now? Now this is so much more, don't be a fucking coward, Nuri!« »I am a coward? What about you, then, huh?« »Who fucks another man while he has a wife, you or me?« »And who fucks every team mate that comes his way? You are fucking pathetic and this whole thing is so fucking pathetic, this wasn't even a thing! It was just fucking!«) and he remembered the way he stormed out of Marco's flat, ignoring both his tears and his pain. With every step he felt colder and colder, until he was out of Marco's street and in his car, finally wiping his tears away. 

Tugba's body felt too cold and Nuri felt dirty, when he came home and she immediately asked if something was wrong. 

He didn't talk to Marco, until he was able to play his first game (and it was great, the stadium, every intake of breath and every ball contact, it felt so good and so right). Marco smiled at him, but it was forced and as fake as Auba's new hair colour. »I am glad you're playing again.« Each word was a new wave of warmth in his now ever so cold body and he couldn't help it, he just smiled back. His smile was genuine, though, and if Marco was surprised, he didn't show it. He just turned around and ignored him again and the heat left Nuri's body. 

The cold was biting at him, and he felt it all the way to his home and even the next day, at their usually training. He left the shower later than he normally did because the warm water made the biting ice in his body bearable, but it never went away completely. Somebody showered in the cabin next to him, but he didn't care. The only times in which he felt a bit warmer were when he was with his son, his smile making him smile too. He needed a warm touch now more than everything, so he hurried to the elevators and almost didn't hear the »Hey, wait!«  
Marco slipped through the closing doors and pressed his body in the corner that was as far away from Nuri as humanly possible.  
»Thanks«, he muttered and stared at the ground.  
»You- you're welcome. I mean, it wasn't a problem - I ..« Nuri would have probably rambled a lot longer, if the elevator didn't give a strange jolt and then just stopped.  
»What just happened?«, asked Marco startled. »I think we are stuck.« Nuri replied and Marco sighed and pushed the emergency button. »How long?«  
»Do I look like an electrician to you? I don't fucking know.« Marco flinched and Nuri realized how harsh he sounded, but it was torture to be next to Marco, so close to the source of warmth. It hurt him to see their shattered relationship, the pieces between them like an ocean of splinters that neither of them was able to cross. So close, but so far away. 

»Why do you ignore me?« Nuri blurted the question out before he thought about it and he regretted it the second he said it. Marco's eyes burned, burned with fire and unshed tears, as he looked up to Nuri. »Are you fucking serious?» His voice was too low, too hard and it made Nuri shiver. »I am not your wife, Nuri. I am not your picket fence and your house, I am not your perfect happy family that keeps you warm at nights. And you made that very clear. How could I be any of these things, when I was just a body to fuck?« 

Nuri wanted to cry and to scream because Marco didn't understand because his family didn't keep him warm at nights, it was Marco, since that first time they had sex and ever since. He didn't answer Marco's questions and Marco ignored him again. He pushed the emergency button several times again, probably because he wanted to get out and Nuri couldn't blame him. 

»We're here!« Someone screamed and Nuri suddenly realized that this was their last chance, his last chance to feel Marco's warmth again and he leaned forward and kissed Marco. He was stiff for a moment and Nuri feared that he would just pull back, but then he felt Marco's lips move and he melted into the kiss. It wasn't sweet because Marco cried and his salty tears found their way to Nuri's mouth, but it burned him so much that he couldn't pull away. Thankfully, Marco did that for him before the elevator moved again. Nuri's hand trembled as he reached out to wipe Marco's tears away. Marco smiled, and it was a real smile this time, but so sad that Nuri almost wanted the fake one back. The elevator stopped again, and Marco stumbled out of it, without looking back ever again.

Nuri drove home, and kissed his wife and hugged his son, and the cold wasn't there anymore, but there was a flame inside his body, that never quite went out. 

Nuri played with fire, but his wings didn't burn because he was too close, they burned because he was too far away.


End file.
